No, I’m not talking about surreptitious fumbling at 38,000 feet. This is a new health tonic. Except - whoops! I’m not allowed to say that.

It’s ridiculous! You come up with an amazing drink that has more anti-oxidants than anything else on the market, you get your scientific documentation, you have a panel of experts singing your praises, and yet you’re not allowed to actually tell your customers that your product is the elixir of life because people might think it’s “medicine”.

Warning: rant approaching.

There’s a shake-up in trading standards in the pipe-line. Basically, anyone retailing products claiming health benefits is going to be in trouble. There will be a minefield of regulation. But these stringent guidelines are only going to hit small companies that don’t have buckets of cash to stave off Whitehall’s meddling jobsworths.

“We’re already feeling the pinch,” says Richard Hammond, who founded Mile High Drinks three years ago. “We’re allowed to say that our products are ‘packed’ with antioxidants, but we’re not allowed to say that they’re ‘full’ of antioxidants. It’s ridiculous.”

Hammond designed this wonder product after a career in BA cabin crew. The drink is aimed at frequent flyers and contains ingredients to battle nausea, dehydration and jet lag; and protect your immune system from the effects of breathing recycled air for several hours. Gross.

But even though tests prove that Mile High has more antioxidants than any other natural fruit drink on the market, they’re not allowed to claim it on the bottle. “You’re fine if you’re a company like Ocean Spray. They’ve got millions. But we’ve got to obey the rules.”

Fair enough, you don’t want to bamboozle people into buying rubbish that claims to be good for you. But this is science, damnit! Lynx all but guarantees you a shag. L’Oreal face-creams promise to make you ten years younger. And Red Bull claims to give you bloody wings!

Change is afoot, people. Small players are going to have to figure new marketing strategies skirting round words like “healthy” and “beneficial”. We’ll no doubt have to wave goodbye to that range of rabbit food-esque products called “The Food Doctor”, while the holistic vitamin drink V Water will have to come up with an ad campaign that doesn’t promise to de-stress, detox and re-invigorate.

But at least it might shut Gilian McKeith up. Let the poo lady try and prove her linseeds take your bowels to heaven.

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By Carmen Snipes  on   Sep 02,2008

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Keywords

Drinks    Carmen Snipes    health    travel    small business    trading standards   

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